Kas peab kogu aeg mäkke ja tagasi jooksma? Viis korda järjest üles alla, nagu lastega spordilaagris? Jumaldan lapsi ja nendega koos tegutsemist. Samas olen täheldanud, et kõik uue algatamine, see põnevus ja äge tegutsemine lisaks sellele, et see mulle hirmsasti meeldib, tegelikult tekitab pinget. Mida ma ei tunnista, et on mulle liig. Armastan anda teistele, unustades seejuures iseenda vajadused. Selle, milles teoorias nii tugev olen ja hästi teisi toetada oskan, iseenda puhul aga vahel ikka jälle komistan. Migreeni otsa ja siis väga valusalt. Seekord sedamoodi:
Ka positiivne stress minu puhul paneb kokku suruma lõualihased ja pigistama vastamisi hambaid ning vaatamata pikaajalisetele õpingutele ja õpetamistele unustan hingamise jälgimise. See muutub tugevaks pingeks lihastes ning närvisüsteemis – kuni peavaluni. Nii selgi korral… Ootasin nii vabatahtliku tegevusena planeeritud PARE hooaja lõpuüritust, mis oli just kavandatud selleks, et kogu aeg teiste toetamisele suunatud personalijuhid ka iseendale aega pühendaksid. Oma tassi täidaksid – Kadrioru pargis endale tähendusliku pärnapuu istutamise, Pranayama hingamise õppimise, Tangrami loomisega ja sinna juurde Kadrioru kauni looduse nautimisega ja loomulikult omavahelise suhtlusega. Kenasti kavandatud ja täiuslikult edasi antuna Pranayama – no ei oska ju teha midagi ülejala – tulemus migreen.
Ja siis kohe õhtune sõit laste spordilaagrisse. 7 päeva järejest. Üliäge. Ülintensiivne. Ja minujaoks esimene kord. “Treener, mul on koduigatsus!” – vaja lohutada. “Treener – millal me telefonid saame?” õppimine koos lastega, et mida teha, kui kogu aeg ei ole nutiaeg?, “Treener, millal me ujuma lähme? Treener, miks me juba veest välja lähme? Treener, ta viskas mu kummiku kämpingu katusele!” Treener…!? “jne. Superäge aeg. Uued avastused enda kohta. Kui palju suudad. Kui palju õpid enese kohta ja kui palju rohkem teiste kolleegide kohta, sellises mitteformaalses keskkonnas. Ja kuidas taasavastasin, et oluline pole mitte see, kui palju ennast liigutad vaid see, kui pingevabalt suudad seda teha. Sest siis tagasi jõudes, kaks päeva oma kalli inimesega koos lebotades oli peavalu läinud. Ehk 8 päeva järjest tabletiga tormates ja siis 2 päeva väga aeglaselt toimetades ja täna on juba hea! Vaatamata laagrist tagasisõidu bussist saadud konditsioneerinohule :). Arvan teadvat miks sain lõpuks peavalust lahti. Sest võtsin aja maha. Lihtne valem – puhkasin, lõdvestusin. Ja ei pannud kohe uuesti jooksu järgmiseid asjatamisi tegema. Nats küll kripeldas, nii palju asju vaja teha – aga pugesin kallima kaissu, vaatasin laagripilte, nautisin saadud positiivseid emotsioone, lugesin laste kirju ja lihtsalt lasin endal laisk olla. No rääkisin endale sama, mis teistele. Olen iseenda suurim väärtus ja vajan ka puhkust.
58 thoughts on “Minuga koos migreeniga_2_spordilaagris”
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